Monday, January 3, 2011


happy new year, everyone.

like many of you, i'm hoping that 2011 is a year that brings new opportunities, achievements, blessings, and fulfillments.

and perhaps unlike many of you, i have no interest in declaring or claiming what 2011 will be. no interest in saying what it will bring me. no desire to establish any great expectations.

i haven't really determined if this is a good thing or bad thing. i just know it's a real thing. my ability to have expectations or even plan things has been extremely limited for the past year and a half. and it's hard to find the boldness to say "2011 will be a great year," when i know i really have no way of knowing that. 2009 was going to be a "great year," and even started out that way. but of course, things have a way of sometimes changing, and changing pretty quickly.

i wrestle with this on a regular basis -- how to think positively about my world and even shape my reality with those positive thoughts while still recognizing my limits when it comes to writing my actual story. i haven't figured out how to expect great things or even set big goals when i know there are so many things that are outside of my control. that control is largely an illusion.

and while i certainly don't want to kill anyone's joy or goals or anticipation for the new year, i can't help but wish that there was a way for us to hope for things, but not specific things. to look for blessings, but to be open to the different forms they may come in. (even if that means it's in the form of a painful lesson.) and that we would face a new year with less expectation and declaration and more openness to whatever it is that may come.

it's not entirely realistic or possible. plans and ideas for the future make the world go 'round.

but it's not an expectation -- it's just a wish.


  1. Never stop dreaming our God is able to make each year better than the last. Remember Job he lost it all (his entire family) and was restored multiple fold I am certain he never forgot his first family. You will always feel your loss but you still have a lot of dreaming and loving ahead of you just believe ... continue to expect, continue to heal ...

  2. I completely agree with you Jess. The path our life takes teaches us to cherish each day and that expectation largely leads to disappointment. God is indeed able to do asbundantly more than we ca ask or think but at the end of the day, GOD is in charge.. this is my year to let go and let God and I encourage you to do the same.. he knows our NEEDS already, he has already seen around the corner. Wishing you Blessings in the new year... Much love...

  3. Well said, I must agree 2010 was trying for my family in a whole. We lost 2 loved ones in 8 months, how devastating. To hope is one thing but to take life as it comes is totally different. I guess we can only pray things get better and ask for the wisdom to understand our surroundings and the message it is sending to us. May great things come to you this year!!!!!

    Kelly (an old friend of your husband's)

  4. There's got to be some good in knowing your own reality.

  5. Just re-read this post...learning to let go and embrace at the same oxymoron but makes perfect sense. Ebb and flow...Thanks Jess...Love you!