Thursday, April 15, 2010

on being social

the semester is winding down, so i've spent most of my time trying to wrap up loose ends on final projects, assignments, and presentations. two weeks to go, so i'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

in the midst of all this busy-ness, i've, of course, found time to fit in a healthy share of social interactions. everyone who knows me well knows i have trouble saying no to invitations for get-togethers, lunches, dinners, celebrations, outings, and such. always have. probably always will.

but it's not such a bad thing. in fact, interacting with all of the different people i've come to know is probably more fulfilling than anything else in life.

there's the comfort in my parents. the loyalty of my high school friends. the lunacy and compassion of my co-workers. the intelligence and inspiration in my classmates. a spectrum of beauty and aspirations in my girl friends. the protection, realness, and boyish antics of my guy friends. the possibilities for the future i imagine because of new friends. the encouragement found in messages from people i hardly speak to. the warmth of smiles from strangers that pass me by. the reminders of Jarronn's legacy as an amazing friend in the hundreds of people he brought into my life.

yes, i'd be lying if i didn't admit that some interactions are accompanied by winces of pain. sadness that Jarronn isn't here to be apart of them. to insert his perspective. his joke. his tap on my knee under the table. his post-interaction analysis. his hand-clapping laugh. his smile. his warmth. his knack for being such a good judge of character. his role as my partner.

but, ultimately, these interactions are sustaining me. they make me thankful. they make me recognize my blessings. they make my lack seem little, or even non-existent.

and though most aren't new relationships, they all somehow put me further along the path of finding the new jessica.

thanks for that.

1 comment:

  1. I love it! From what I knew of Jarronn, I think he would be proud of you for maintaining those social interactions.

    He was always quite supportive of your friendships in general, and very open about appreciating you as a person...and the fact that you are so likeable.

    Some of my most memorable interactions with J-Ron involved him buzzing me after you and I had hung out to 'thank me for showing his girl a good safe time'. =) I thought it was funny and abnormal at the time, but he was genuine and intentional.

    He was great. You are great--the old and the new Jessica. And it's good that folks recognize that.