Thursday, August 12, 2010

after july 30

the past two weeks have been hectic, and i really appreciate all of the kind words, prayers, and thoughts and that so many of you sent my way.

the anniversary of Jarronn's death came at a crazy time, as i was working hard to finish the final projects for my masters degree. at times it was hard to find the meaning in completing my work as i was constantly reminded of the fragility of life and significance found not in titles, degrees, and accomplishments, but in relationships with the people we love.

but i'm happy to report that as of tuesday, i've completed my course work. now it's just a matter of waiting for my grades so i can officially declare my success.

in the day before the one year mark, i anticipated that i would be ok. that just like so many of the year's holidays have passed and felt no harder than living any other day without Jarronn, that i would be fine. but july 30, 2010 proved to be a lot tougher and lot more teary than i anticipated. writing the story of what happened likely didn't make that any easier. and while i never want people to stop reaching out to me with their words of encouragement and love, those words do remind me of everything i've had to endure. and i wish so badly that they weren't necessary.

thank you to everyone who sent in photos and memories of Jarronn. i'll be posting them over time, so if you'd still like to send something, please feel free to do so, by emailing and i can't tell you how happy it feels to hear from those of you who signed up to be organ and tissue donors. how beautiful. i mentioned how the washington regional transplant community has been a huge support to me since Jarronn's death, and i received the following except of a poem from them this week. i hope it touches you.

To Remember Me

Give my sight to a man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman.

Give my heart to a person whose own heart has pain.

Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play.

Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week.

Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk.

If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses and all my prejudice against my fellow man.

Give my sins to the devil. Give my soul to God. 

If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you.

If you do all I have asked, I will live forever. 

Robert N. Test

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