Wednesday, April 13, 2011

little things

after long periods of not writing here on the blog, it's sometimes hard to get back to it.

i guess i put some kind of pressure on myself to say something new or interesting. and when life doesn't really feel that new or interesting, i tend to procrastinate on my postings.

the truth is moving. forward. onward.

there are more days when i feel more adjusted to the "new normal." days when i feel empowered by knowing that i've survived for all this time. that i've found ways to smile and laugh and love and live. days when not wanting to get out of bed is simply due to my laziness and not to not wanting to face the day.

there are also days when i still miss my old self. the "old normal." the self that had little knowledge of the kind of pain and loss i've experienced. the self that had the ability to imagine a future for herself. or the ability to make travel plans without waiting until the last minute. or got excited about holidays.

it's the little things i miss and the little things that i suppose deserve gratitude.

moving. forward. onward.


  1. I periodically check in to see if you have posted any new writings on your blog (its saved as one of my, because I think it is beautifully written and though its therapeutic for you, whether your know it or not it also serves as a form of therapy for those of us reading it as well. I've noticed in the past few months the postings have become less frequent. Though I greatly enjoy reading your postings, a part of me is happy for the decline because to me it shows that though Jarron will forever be in your heart, the pain you experienced from losing him is decreasing "one day at a time." I'm glad to see you're doing well and again, thank you for sharing a little part of yourself with the rest of the world.

  2. Hang in there going on three years as a young widow...we can live again!