right after Jarronn passed away, there were several people who assumed that i'd want to move out of the house, in order to escape the memories. and there were still people who assumed my recent move was a result of trying to escape emotional baggage. but truthfully, being in our house never made me sad (at least not consciously). it was home. the place we had renovated and decorated together. ours.
if anything, i was inclined to stay in the house, knowing how much Jarronn loved it and how much he wanted it to be. the go-to place for holidays, cookouts on the deck, game nights in the living room, and shooting pool in the basement.
but with him being gone, a lot of those things weren't happening. and while having a home of my own was a blessing, it wasn't something i planned to do without him.
with everything i've been through, i've had to become more focused on doing what's best for me. ultimately, i moved because the house couldn't be what i needed it to be. i needed simplicity. i needed more security. i needed to be closer to things i love in the city. i needed more sunlight. i needed less responsibility. i needed a fresh start.
and so while it took almost two years to arrive at the decision, i'm happy with the one i made. and i think Jarronn would be happy with it too.
now, on to another change, which you probably noticed. the blog has a new layout/design. i thought it was long overdue. (in case you're wondering, the background photo was taken from our spot in jamaica, where i placed Jarronn's ashes.)
I can't begin to imagine what the thought process what like to arrive at such a decision. I pray for your continued strength and God's blessing upon you. You're a mighty woman of God, and He will use your testimony to bring more of His people back to Him. I'm encouraged and blessed to know you, my UCCFS cousin!
ReplyDelete-Zedrick
Hi Jess. This is a good decision for you, I think. I know it was tough. Please keep us all updated!
ReplyDeleteThe new layout and other changes, I respect and embrace them with you, girlie.
ReplyDeleteBut (dreamy sigh) on another note, I really like this picture of you and Jarronn. I hadn't seen it before, and aside from Jarronn looking almost exactly as I remember him (a lot of pictures don't do him justice, lol)--I think the picture itself speaks about how you both were as a couple: pleasant, laidback, and warm. *Maybe I just over-analyzed a bit, but that's what came flowing back*
Regardless, go team J. I agree that Jarronn would support your changes too!
Very nice Sis! Jarronn is beaming and I know this all will be good for you. Keep shining your light! Love you:)
ReplyDeleteJessica I have been keeping up with your posts silently and just want to say that I admire your strength and your determination to put one foot in front of the other everyday. You inspire me to continue to live life to the fullest and you really helped strengthen my faith in God! Your posts have truly been a blessing in my life. Congrats on your new place and I'm excited for your fresh start. You're an amazing woman!
ReplyDeleteI've stalked your blog for awhile and I don't think I've ever commented but first, thus photo of you and your husband is absolutely gorgeous. 2nd, I cannnot begin to relate to what you have/are going through but I truely appreciate and am touched by your testimony, I know that it is healing someone, touching someone, saving someone. your are truely an inspiration to me and I thank you!
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