Monday, August 17, 2009

our special spot

a few days before Jarronn and i came to jamaica in july 2008, he suggested that we check out the sunset from our favorite "look out" on our first night there. he had checked the weather and thought it would be the clearest night and our best chance of seeing the kind of beautiful sunset we'd seen on the last night of our 2007 visit. that sunset in 2007 had been the most amazing sunset either of us had seen. and because in 2005 we'd seen the most amazing full moon over montego bay from the same spot, we thought this look out spot had to have some kind of magical power.

what i didn't realize was that Jarronn was hoping to have a beautiful sunset as the backdrop to his proposal. he had an engagement ring inside of his backpack and was waiting for just "the perfect moment." our first night there, the sunset was less than exciting. the sky was full of clouds, so Jarronn postponed and waited for "the perfect moment." we went up to the look out again on the following day, in the afternoon, and as we snapped some photos, Jarronn said to me, "this is our special spot, don't you think?" i responded, "yeah, it is." i think he was hoping that this would lead into "the perfect moment," but my response wasn't reflective/deep enough to take us there, lol. so he postponed again.

Jarronn carried his backpack with him everywhere that week. he told me that it had his camera tripod inside, and i didn't give it much thought. on our last night, we went to the beach with my mom. the sunset was pretty, but still not like the one we'd seen in 2007. while i was lying on the beach, i started thinking about how much i wanted Jarronn to propose. how much i wanted us to get married. but after a few minutes, i remember saying to myself that i wasn't going to worry or obsess over when it was going to happen. i trusted God that it would happen when the time was "right," so i'd continue to enjoy everything i had in the meantime.

we went back to my mom's house that evening and uploaded the photos we'd taken over the week to her computer. we also told her about the amazing sunset we'd seen in 2007. we went to my facebook page to show her photos, and when she saw the photo of Jarronn kissing me on the cheek in front of the sunset, she said, "what a perfect moment." Jarronn started talking about creating another perfect moment, and while on one knee presented a ring and asked me to marry him. i, of course, said yes. he was thrilled that i was surprised. and you would have thought my mom had been proposed to.

i went back to our special spot on friday. this time to place a part of Jarronn's remains there. it had rained earlier, so i didn't know what to expect in terms of the sunset. but what i saw was absolutely beautiful. in fact, i learned that the best sunsets happen after it has rained. and just like my relationship with Jarronn, the sunset just kept getting better and better with time. i thanked God and Jarronn for the beauty. i cried. i missed him. and without realizing, my mom used the same phrase she'd used last year. it was "the perfect moment." photos of this year's sunset are below.










19 comments:

  1. That's absolutely beautiful, because it does seem as if the universe kisses the earth at sunset, creating heavenly shades of coloured light. We all experience the beauty of Twilight time.
    Lance

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  2. man.. Jessica.. I'm speechless.. May God continue to comfort you and keep you in His arms.. Much love Sis..

    Anthea

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  3. ....I'm so speechless..
    ...your words are speaking to my soul and I pray that you are finding some sort of comfort from your writings.

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  4. Wow, this is so beautiful Jess. I'm at a loss for words. I hope to experience a love like that one day.

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  5. The sunset is beautiful. I can't wait until I get there to share the things you two did together as a couple. I am so glad that you found your true love. The last 3 days have been rough for me. Everyones says how strong I have been but they are not with me when I am alone thinking about him and the questions that are going through my mind. Thanks for sharing

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  6. wow...i hope one day i can love someone like that. definitely not settling for second best after reading about your history with jarronn. thanks for showing us that real love exists.

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  7. beautiful sunset, beautiful words from a beautiful heart. God bless you.

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  8. I remember Jarronn and I swapping engagement stories at happy hour one day last year and when he told me that story it was so funny because of how he had planned it going in his mind and how he wanted to do it at the spot but the moment just wasn't right. He said when he finally got the opportunity to propose you and your mom were so excited that he thought yall were going to forget he was standing there lol!

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  9. My beautiful, strong, brave and awesome niece! Know that if I could have created someone for you in my 'secret squirrel super duper laboratory', it would have been Jarronn. Luckily, you found him all by yourself and are so much richer for it! You have been blessed to experience in your young life the stuff that dreams are made of. He was - and is - a wonderful young man, your spiritual equal in your grace, faith and spirit. Such a wonderful fit for our family. He will never be forgotten, as you know the "stories" of Jarronn, his humor, silliness (let's not forget Ike & Tina) and the indelible mark he made on all of our hearts will live forever.

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  10. Jessica, I remember your mom telling about Jarronn's proposal, and I am thankful to you for sharing your memories and the beautiful pictures of you, Jarronn and the sunset... Absolutely magical.. You are in my heart always, and I wish you strength, and God's grace. You are such a special person. I admire your courage and your wisdom. Thank you for sharing them with us. Onelove always, Chantal

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  11. I'm simply blown away. Love, in the way that you and Jarronn's did it, is truly what God intended.

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  12. As Verdell said you encourage me not to settle. I want to experience the love that you've experienced and I'm so glad that you got to experience it as well as another "perfect moment" may there be many more in your future.

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  13. So beautiful... Jessica, I'm so glad that you have such beautiful memories to reflect on and that the both of you lived and loved to the fullest, together. What a blessing, girl. One day at a time...

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  14. pure romance! very beautiful Jess

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  15. WOW, Jess. Your reflections are amazing. The situation is vvery unfortunate, but the experience has been chosen by God for you, for some unforseen reason. You have been chosen to go through with this. I lost my Godfather and a godbrother in a traggic plane crash in 2008. His wife is just now coming around and to see you at the memorial service and to follow you with your blogs, is why I say you have been CHOSEN. You may not feel strong but you are strengthened by the LOVE you share with Jarron. I know it isn't EASY, IT CAN'T BE!!! When I found out I was in disbelief b/c we were all just at Derek's and Ra's brunch chillin. "Watching the dear watch us", LOL. But I have been praying for you and thinking of you ever since. I wrote a lot when I lost my Godfather and it helped me, so I know that this will help you and show others how to LIVE IN LOVE. Keep living IN LOVE and yes all you can do is take it one moment at a time. Your continuously in a lot of peoples prayers.

    PEACE,
    Adrienne

    P.S. You are insiring me within my engagement, Thanks.

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  16. Wow Jessica…until now, I was content following your blog and praying privately for your strength as you revealed so many personal moments and emotions. But after reading this particular blog, something in my spirit would not settle until I reached out to you. In fact, reading your words in the final paragraph brought tears to my eyes and I had to stop and give myself a moment to thank God for the real-life manifestation of something that we have been told all of our life, “weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning” and that “joy truly does come after the rain”. Jessica, you have truly ministered to me by simply restating something that was always there and I thank you for that. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are feeling each day as you try to pick up the pieces and continue on with life. However, one thing I know for sure is that God would not have brought you to this point had He not prepared you for it and only through Him will you maintain the strength that you need to go on. God loves us and He has a divine purpose for each of our lives. Each day, He gives you the strength to accomplish the simple things. One day you will look back and not know how you did it…that’s how God works! Your testimony is amazing, and it’s only just the beginning. I hope you realize one day how many people you have helped and will help by your courage to let us go through this experience with you.

    I love you, and God Bless…
    Alisha

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