hardest part of day

mornings tend to be the hardest part of the day. i'm not a morning person to begin with. Jarronn and i were opposites in that way. he'd hop up in the mornings and fall asleep watching t.v. by 9:00 p.m. i, on the other hand, tend to find it hard to fall asleep before midnight. and i struggle to get up in the mornings, even sometimes after having a full night's rest. Jarronn would tease me about the fact that even after a shower and getting dressed, i still looked like i wasn't really awake.

mornings these days are even more difficult. i wake up and get smacked with the reality that i have to make it through another day. as opposed to wanting five more minutes, i now want five more hours. the thing that typically gets me out of bed is having to go to the bathroom, or knowing someone will be coming over.

i stare in to space. a lot. i stare at the closet, the floor, the wall. i often imagine what the morning "should" be like.
...cnn american morning on the t.v. making the bed from both sides. taking turns with the iron. Jarronn making me laugh. Jarronn taking care of business on his laptop. Me asking for his thoughts on my outfit. Jarronn reminding me not to put my shoes on upstairs (something i still feel guilty doing). me making oatmeal for us to take to work...

i do push through, though. i make it to work. usually late. but things get better once the day moves on. my work is worthwhile. i talk to friends and family. and at the end, i thank God for getting me through another day.

early morning with Jarronn...