back to jamaica

last week i went to jamaica. and this time, my mother(-in-law) came along with me. Jarronn and i had talked about getting her down there for awhile, so i was excited that the time had come for her to visit a place i love and he loved so much. her first trip to the island. and a chance for her to experience things Jarronn did over the course of his three trips there.

when we landed last sunday, the weather was unseasonably cold. 62 degrees and raining. coldest i've ever felt it in jamaica. so the plans we had of being on the beach by 3 p.m. that afternoon evaporated quickly. the next day was overcast and barely 70 degrees. i stayed optimistic that the weather would turn around and prayed that the vacation would be able to live up to the hype. thankfully, the sun came out on day 3, and we made it to the beach.

the trip flowed with lots of good times. spent time in the sun. took a day trip to negril. rode on the catamaran. spent nights out on the town. climbed dunn's river falls. got out of a speeding ticket from the police. ate lots of ackee and saltfish. and beef/chicken/veggie patties. caught up with friends. and got through a 500-page novel.

and my mother(-in-law) had a great time, which she so deserved.

of course it was bittersweet that Jarronn couldn't be there too. in some ways, it's hard to feel the same way i used to about my visits, now that he's gone. i imagine him everywhere. on the boat, snorkeling in the water, sitting on the couch, snapping photos, eating in restaurants, sleeping in his bed, practicing patois, and riding in the car. it meant a lot to me that i was able to introduce him to this place and that he absolutely loved it.

here are some photos from the trip, and for nostalgic purposes, there are a few from the trip Jarronn and i took there in july 2008 at the end.

our special spot

a few days before Jarronn and i came to jamaica in july 2008, he suggested that we check out the sunset from our favorite "look out" on our first night there. he had checked the weather and thought it would be the clearest night and our best chance of seeing the kind of beautiful sunset we'd seen on the last night of our 2007 visit. that sunset in 2007 had been the most amazing sunset either of us had seen. and because in 2005 we'd seen the most amazing full moon over montego bay from the same spot, we thought this look out spot had to have some kind of magical power.

what i didn't realize was that Jarronn was hoping to have a beautiful sunset as the backdrop to his proposal. he had an engagement ring inside of his backpack and was waiting for just "the perfect moment." our first night there, the sunset was less than exciting. the sky was full of clouds, so Jarronn postponed and waited for "the perfect moment." we went up to the look out again on the following day, in the afternoon, and as we snapped some photos, Jarronn said to me, "this is our special spot, don't you think?" i responded, "yeah, it is." i think he was hoping that this would lead into "the perfect moment," but my response wasn't reflective/deep enough to take us there, lol. so he postponed again.

Jarronn carried his backpack with him everywhere that week. he told me that it had his camera tripod inside, and i didn't give it much thought. on our last night, we went to the beach with my mom. the sunset was pretty, but still not like the one we'd seen in 2007. while i was lying on the beach, i started thinking about how much i wanted Jarronn to propose. how much i wanted us to get married. but after a few minutes, i remember saying to myself that i wasn't going to worry or obsess over when it was going to happen. i trusted God that it would happen when the time was "right," so i'd continue to enjoy everything i had in the meantime.

we went back to my mom's house that evening and uploaded the photos we'd taken over the week to her computer. we also told her about the amazing sunset we'd seen in 2007. we went to my facebook page to show her photos, and when she saw the photo of Jarronn kissing me on the cheek in front of the sunset, she said, "what a perfect moment." Jarronn started talking about creating another perfect moment, and while on one knee presented a ring and asked me to marry him. i, of course, said yes. he was thrilled that i was surprised. and you would have thought my mom had been proposed to.

i went back to our special spot on friday. this time to place a part of Jarronn's remains there. it had rained earlier, so i didn't know what to expect in terms of the sunset. but what i saw was absolutely beautiful. in fact, i learned that the best sunsets happen after it has rained. and just like my relationship with Jarronn, the sunset just kept getting better and better with time. i thanked God and Jarronn for the beauty. i cried. i missed him. and without realizing, my mom used the same phrase she'd used last year. it was "the perfect moment." photos of this year's sunset are below.