it's a late night. got homework to do. but facebook "notified" me that someone likes one of my photos. one of my wedding photos. and so after looking at that one photo, i proceeded to look through the rest in the album. all 157. i know the moments by heart. but i get so caught up in looking at them. caught up in the smiles. and the love. love for each other and love from friends and family around us. and caught up in the joy. pure, unadulterated joy. Jarronn was so happy that day. i was so happy that day. he insisted that our wedding was "perfect," and didn't want to hear me say otherwise.
most times, looking at photos of Jarronn makes me smile. i remember the trips, the jokes, the special moments. but every so often, there's a photo of him looking the camera lense square in the "eye." and i stare back. feeling like he's looking directly at me. on the other side of the screen. on the other side of life. sometimes this makes me feel silly or a little crazy. sometimes it makes me want to reach out and touch his face and feel his smiling cheeks in my hands.
sometimes, like tonight, it makes me cry.