Thursday, March 4, 2010

good enough for dad

if you ask my dad about his dreams, he'll tell you that he doesn't have them. or at least, when he wakes up, he doesn't remember them.

so we thought it was pretty significant that he had a dream he remembered. a dream about Jarronn. and on the night before Jarronn's birthday (and dad didn't know when Jarronn's birthday was). there wasn't a whole lot to the dream. it was just him and Jarronn playing golf. my dad's favorite activity.

my dad talked about how special it was that he dreamt about Jarronn on that night of all nights. and how playing golf with Jarronn was one of the things he had really looked forward to doing. he told me how ever since he saw Jarronn's golf clubs in the basement, he couldn't wait to get him on the course and "whoop up on him." he looked forward to Jarronn coming home to me and saying, "i used to think your dad was a nice guy, but i'm not so sure anymore." i laughed pretty hard thinking about this scenario my dad had created in his mind. dad really likes to talk trash. and i know where my trash talking comes from.

after Jarronn died, my dad stayed with me for a couple weeks. during one of our many talks, i told him how i couldn't imagine another person being more perfect for me than Jarronn. he shared how he never thought he could have liked someone so much for me. kind of funny that he said this, because in the past when i'd ask him what he'd do if i brought someone home he didn't like, he'd always say, "what could i really do about it?"

but it was obvious that my choice in a man did, in fact, matter. and my dad loved that when he looked at Jarronn, he was reminded of himself at that age. driven. focused. personable. funny.

i loved the relationship they had. every girl wants her dad to like her mate. that's probably especially true for me (Jarronn always called me a 'daddy's girl.') and my dad was right about Jarronn being like him. they were similar in a lot of ways. from the way they thought about things. to both working in sales for j&j. to having the same shoe size. and even down to using some of the same sayings. i'd tell my dad that Jarronn somehow had the best of him, and none of his flaws. (luckily, dad doesn't take himself too seriously, so he was ok with this comment).

the one place my two favorite men deviated was in football teams. Jarronn was a diehard skins fan, and dad is all about the cowboys. there were many a bet made between them, and i'm pretty sure a six-pack of heineken was exchanged at various points. references to this rivalry even made it onto Jarronn's and my wedding video. something about his love for me being so strong that he let my "cowboys fan father" participate in the ceremony. i'm not sure of many people who could pull off a joke like that.

but when it came time to put jokes aside, Jarronn did that too. while even his parents were in the dark about him proposing, he made sure to call my dad before we left for jamaica and ask for his blessing. he told my dad about our pre-marital counseling. about how he felt our values in life were aligned. how we could grow together.

to my dad, Jarronn was "a prince." and seeing how my dad related to him and liked him made Jarronn that more special. made me adore him even more. makes me miss him even more.

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