in a sense, i'm lucky. i've experienced this incredible loss and the pain that goes along with it. but at the same time, i've had the freedom to deal with it publicly.
a few weeks ago, i realized that this isn't the case for a lot of people. there are people who are facing pain that's just as real, just as deep. but their pain doesn't tend to warrant the kind of support i've received. people can rally around a person who's lost a loved one. and the person who's grieving is expected, and even encouraged, to express their pain. not sure why that is. maybe because death seems more inevitable and is therefore easier to relate to.
but there's lots of people who experience pain, and with it carry so much baggage. a spouse who has left, an addiction that won't go away, mental illness, issues of insecurity, losing a job, suicidal thoughts, falling short, dreams deferred...the list goes on and on. i wish i could hug all of those people. or let them have one day where everyone encourages them to talk about their feelings. to not feel ashamed. to feel a support system and abundant love. to receive dozens of cards that tell them everything will be ok.
sometimes it doesn't seem fair that i've been the recipient of all of that. that i've been kind of lucky.