there are now actually days when i don't cry. sometimes because i'm able to hold back the tears. other times because i'm so focused on my to-do list. and other times when i'm just feeling thankful.
but it seems that when i go a few days without crying, it's like my body wants to make up for lost time. and so i cry for extended periods of time. not usually triggered by anything in particular. but it's like the well has reached capacity, and the overflow begins. the tears rush out. the sobbing ensues. i wonder if there's progress in all of this.
i read somewhere, shortly after Jarronn died, that tears flush out emotional tension and help release endorphins (brain chemicals released from the brain which can cause feelings of relief and euphoria). i remind myself of this every time i cry. it's my way of trying to make myself feel better. it's hard not to feel sorry for yourself when you hear yourself sobbing, sniffing and gasping for air. or at least it's hard for me.