Saturday, January 16, 2010


there are still days when i cry. but for the most part, the full out tears have been replaced by what i call "the sting." that feeling you get behind your eyes right before the tears start to form. some kind of memory flows into my mind, and i become overwhelmed. hurting. missing. longing. questioning. and then comes the sting. the burning. the pain in my eyes.

i blink hard. but never long. the former helps to soothe the pain and to prevent the onslaught of tears. the latter gives them the freedom to pool in my eyes.

i feel the sting multiple times a day. and so i'm used to it now. sometimes i wonder if i should be letting the tears fall, but there comes a point where you just don't want to cry anymore. or at least not as much.

so the sting is there. an invisible pain. mine to feel, but for no one to see.

1 comment:

  1. Jessica,
    I may not see your pain, but I feel it in my heart. You are loved, and we share your grief. I am renewed everytime I read your writing. You inspire me to face my own grief with your honesty, and your willingness to feel the truth of your experience. I am dealing with the grief of watching Haiti in ruins, and losing friends and family. My adopted sister died in the earthquake, as well as several cousins. I am preparing to go to Haiti with a group of doctors. I just wanted you to know that you have inspired me, even before this, to look inside myself and face my own reality with renewed courage. Thank you. Onelove