Tuesday, September 29, 2009

the boys

one thing that makes me feel better is talking to the boys. Jarronn's boys. this is probably because i know how much each of them meant to him. how much he valued their friendship. and how much they all loved him.

like Jarronn, i value the different stages of his life they each represent(ed). i value the way that each of them is unique. and in so many ways, they represent the thing i loved most about Jarronn -- how multi-faceted he was. in his friends i see the engineer, the business man, the God-fearer, the family man, the sports fan, the lover boy, and so on. most importantly, i see a group of men who want to be better. some might be more focused than others, but they all want to be better.

they serve as an awesome reminder of how great of a friend my husband was. as i spoke to each of them in the days after his death, it was amazing to me how all of them told me they had shared long conversations with Jarronn in the days before he died. i always knew this, but i was reminded of how Jarronn was a much better friend than i was. how he was a model for me in that way. he somehow seemed to achieve quality and quantity in his relationships.

in the time that i knew Jarronn, i saw how he often gave his friends sound advice. i know they miss this. he was never judgmental. he just always wanted to see his friends have the best. but i also know that there were many times when these men advised Jarronn too. even on things related to our relationship and our working towards marriage. (i think one of these conversations resulted in us finally 'agreeing' on our bedroom decor - thanks Joe!)

i love that Jarronn's friends became my friends. and i love them, not just for how they've always embraced me, but just based on how much they each meant to Jarronn. so to aaron, nate, lennox, marck, marc, mike, d-mitch, raph, andy, al d., will, and joe -- thank you. Jarronn loved you all deeply, and i'm grateful for everything you added to his life and our life together.


  1. Hey Jessica,

    I read all your posts though I never comment. I just wanted to tell you that I think it's great that you're doing this. I definitely think about Jarronn every day and I miss the conversations we used to have about any and everything.

    Just checking in the comments section for the first time.

  2. You have such a gift for words. I couldn not have said it any better.

  3. Hearing Jarronn's friends and family speak about his life at the memorial service really challenged me to be a better friend - mostly to make myself more available. It seemed like everyone (even his mentor at work) mentioned how he would frequently text, or just "check-in." Sometimes it's really easy to lose sight of what's important, or just be selfish with your time (I know I am more often than not). His death reminded me of what's truly important. What a great example ...

  4. Jess, I read these everyday I get the chance to and I may never know the emotions that you feel but you paint such colorful picture of life.I am so glad that you are open enough to allow the world into your pain and triumphs. These notes remind me of how out of touch I am with the colors of life and I am glad that through Jarronn's love you are spelling it out,especially for me.I'm inspired, I love you my sister!(remember our song "I know the plans I have your you")-Be encouraged