Friday, September 4, 2009

back to school

classes at georgetown started back up yesterday. it's hard to know i'm starting a new semester and don't have Jarronn's support. getting my masters was something that he was excited about. i told him my goal of getting only "A's" throughout my program. he was impressed, told me i could do it, and gave me a high five. we arranged everything so that i was able to pay for school as i go and not worry about loans.

the last time i was in classes, it was three weeks before our wedding. he was patient with me as i tried to juggle everything. my classmates were excited for me and my summer off. one of my classmates and i bonded over our similarities -- we both graduated the same year from umd, we were both named jessica, we were both getting married, and both of us would have the same new married name. "congrats, mrs. jackson =)", she wrote on my facebook wall. "thank you mrs. jackson! :-)", i responded, tickled to death.

...and now our stories are extremely different.

i came into class yesterday and saw a friend from a past class. she asked how my summer had been. "good and bad," i replied. i hated that i had to break the news one more time. it's hard for me, but i also know it puts other people in a tough spot.

sat in class and loved the subject matter. excited to be learning. sad that i can't go home and talk about what i'm learning with Jarronn. i want to hear his thoughts and unique perspective on things.

saw another classmate in the hall during our break. she knew the news and gave me a big hug. told me her uncle had passed and she made sure she got her window seat on the plane. made me smile.


  1. Jess, I've admired you since we met in '04 and I admire you even more now.
    Love you,

  2. Hi jessica: I read your posts daily and walk with you in this difficult time. I just want you to know that it's okay to talk to your husband. Talk to him when you get home, Talk to him while you prepare dinner, Talk to him while soaking in a relaxing bubble bath, Talk to him when you lay your head on your pillow at night and try desperately to fall asleep. Talk to him it's okay. He is around you, i know you can feel him, he is there. Talk to him and listen carefully because if you listen with your heart you will hear him respond.He's there you just can't see him.

  3. Hiya Sis,
    I just read all of your blogs from your 3rd 'til now. I apologize for not being able to read them until now. I am very proud of you with your continued venture with your Masters and of course living one day at a time. So many of your friends and family have said what I've been thinking to tell you, so I won't repeat. I will just say, "He will never leave you nor forsake you." And that is a real promise. Just like the one Jarronn and you made to one another. I too did a dedication for you and Jarronn about a week ago. I was in LA rehearsing with a dance company out there and on Sunday I danced at my Mom's church. The song was "I Give You Lord, My Heart." A friend of mine arranged it, along with his friend. It is so powerful. That is what I would have danced to if it had worked out for you at Jarronn's homegoing. Every time I would listen to it after hearing about Jarronn, I would cry so hard. I know I never got to meet him, but I still feel like I did thru you. The key words in the song state, " And because You love me, we will be together. I give You, Lord, my heart." Together again with Christ. That thought is filled with hope. I love you Jess.

  4. Jess: I've been following your blog and I wish you didn't have a reason to write. A day does not go by that I don't think of you and your words truly inspire me to live in the moment and sincerely count my blessings each and every day. For what it's worth, thank you, and know that your words do make an impact.

    Please don't hesitate to contact me about school or anything.