while walking around, riding on the train, sitting in class -- i often wish i could just jump out of my body. and jump out of my life.
i don't ever seem to get my wish.
it's hard feeling this way after spending an entire life feeling content. everything hasn't always been perfect. but i've been content. i've been in situations where i wasn't happy, but i could always look forward to when things would get better. i knew i could make efforts to change the situation.
this is one situation i can't change. and please don't tell me that God wants to show me that He can change it. i just wish i could leave it behind. i can't envision things being better. i envision me dealing more. accepting more. but i can't see better.
i want to jump out of my body. and i get the urge to scream when i remember that i can't. so instead, i wrote this blog...